Professor Layton and the Infection Strikes Again!
by Ura Omote Author
Summary: In the classroom, a random bunch of Professor Layton characters are under Layton's tutelage. Luke is a shota, Descole is a sarcastic tsundere, Flora is a sweet little yandere and Clive's a troll. Rated T for language and violence and stuff,
1. Period 1, Irn Bru, and Apples

**Yay! Welcome to a new fic! I had another Layton crackfic but it kinda died, so... randomness in the professor's classroom, yay!**

**Plus, I own nothing. First and last time I'm saying it.**

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"So, if everyone would please turn to page 143 in their textbooks..." the Professor began. He paused. "Luke, stop swinging on your chair. You'll fall."

"But these seats are so... SWINGABLE!" Luke cried, laughing as he fell.

"IT'S FIZZY, IT'S GINGER, IT'S SWINGABLE!" Emmy joined in.

"My chairs are _not _Irn Bru," Layton said, irked. "We are in London, not Scotland. And someone please escort Luke to the nurse's office."

Bill Hawks stood up.

"Someone who isn't a manipulative bastard please."

Bill Hawks sat down. Flora took his place and dragged Luke out of the room.

"Roll call! Emmy Altava!"

"Present and correct!"

"Randall Ascot!"

"Here!"

"Oh, never mind alphabetical order," the professor muttered. "Flora Reinhold!"

"Here, hehehe!"

"Jean Descole!"

"I'm not here."

"Clive Dove!"

"Here!"

"And Don Paul?"

"MY NAME IS NOT PAUL!"

"Yes, I temporarily forgot. Moving on."

Nobody bothered to call for Bill Hawks because everyone hated him.

"So, if you would please turn to page 143..."

The classroom was silent apart from the flipping of pages.

"Why are we looking at rocks?" asked Randall.

"Professaaaah someone drew boobs on my textbook..." Luke whined, having teleported back to his desk with Flora in tow.

"Ignore the graffiti Luke." The Professor sighed. This was going to be a lot more than he bargained for...

"Professor, what's a 'metamorphic'?" asked Flora.

"Ooh, I know!" Clive cried. "It's a metaphor about metal!"

"No Clive."

"Professor, I can't read."

"Professor, I'm allergic to salad."

"Professaaaaah, I feel unloved." Luke announced, in the midst of the random comments.

"Don't feel unloved my boy," said Layton, giving Luke a quick hug.

"Luke is a shota!" yelled Randall. Layton's eyes blazed.

"Oh no you did not." Luke said, his voice growing dangerously soft.

"Shota, shota, shota!" Randall persisted. Luke probably would have ended up killing him if Emmy hadn't given him a good roundhouse kick.

"Everyone is mad," Descole said, slumping over the desk.

"Profess-"

"Be quiet!" the Professor said loudly. Strangely enough everyone put their heads down and began to work.

Ten minutes later, Flora put her hand up.

"I'm finished Professor!"

Layton smiled and went over to see her work.

She had drawn the apple logo. Emmy snickered next to her.

"Flora, what...?" The Professor looked confused.

"You never said we had to answer the questions!" Flora looked very pleased.

"Normally, one does not have to be told to do such things when it is _plainly obvious!_"

"Professaaaaaah, Don Paolo is copying my work!" Luke yelled.

"I _never_!" Don Paolo lied.

"LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!" Luke yelled once more, promptly setting fire to Don Paolo's pants.

The fire alarm went off and the sprinklers activated, drenching everyone.

"My feather boa!" Descole complained, shivering.

Bill Hawks said simply, "Mmn."

The bell rang.

"All right, this period's over. What do you have next?" enquired the Professor.

"History with Professor Sherbert... I mean Schrader," Randall licked his lips at the thought of sweets.

"Please refrain from killing me or any other teachers," the Professor said. "I'm talking to you, BILL HAWKS."

Everyone glared at Bill Hawks.

"This is bullying!" he whined.

* * *

**There will probably be another chapter today. It's the first chapter so it was a bit short, but oh well.**


	2. Period 2, Pipes, and Boxes

**Hello again, people! Sorry I updated later than I said, but I do have a lot of fanfics to juggle with daily life here... so forgive me! **

**And btw, spoilers. Cause yeah. (I'm very literate, xD)**

* * *

"Haha, we trolled the Professor real good huh?" Clive laughed manically.

(Randall is no longer a main character in this story cause I can't write him well.)

"Yay yeah whatever!" everyone screeched, crowding into the classroom.

"Sit down, everyone," said Professor Schrader. Anton randomly broke a window and jumped in, screamed something about eating everyone, and threw the Diabolical Box in Professor Schrader's face before scrambling out through the same window.

"Okay?" said Schrader, opening it.

"DON'T OPEN IT!" Everyone screeched once again.

He opened it anyway and collapsed on the floor. He was escorted to the nurse. (Um, let's just call her Mrs Butterfly cause yeah.) Professor Layton had was called to take over the lesson because he was the only other Professor in the entire building.

"Professah!"

"Yes Luke." The Professor said, distracted.

"We just saw Anton!"

"Yes Luke."

"He thinks he's a vampire again."

"Yes Luke."

"Do you want to kiss him?"

"Yes Luke."

Everyone burst into hysterics.

"I will have my tranquil revenge, mah boi," the professor said, smiling with blank eyes. This creeped everyone else the hell out so they quickly changed the subject.

"Professor, I brought a movie with me," Flora yelled.

"I'm not sure-"

"It's about dem Azran you like so much."

"Okay fine put it in the DVD player, Flora."

She did so.

"By the way, what's it called?"

"It's the Fifty Shades of Grey movie adaptation."

"FUUUUU-"

...

"Kyaaaaaaahhhh!" Luke screamed, latching onto Descole's cape. "HUG ME DESCOLEEEE~"

"Hell no!" Descole shouted, sending Luke flying across the classroom.

"Well I think we can all consider ourselves scarred for life," Bill Hawks nodded.

"Nobody asked your opinion," Clive snapped, gagging Bill Hawks. Everyone applauded.

"Mpy m I mppphmph mglllgmgph?" he mumbled. Translation: "Why am I getting bullied?"

"BECAUSE YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!" Clive screamed.

"BECAUSE YOU KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!" Layton screamed.

"BECAUSE YOU KILLED THE ONE I WAS STALKING!" Don Paolo screamed.

Everyone looked at Don Paolo like he was a lunatic. "What?!"

"Any questions?" asked the Professor.

"Professor, how old are you?" Emmy asked.

"..."

"Let's guess, everyone!" Luke beamed.

"Wait a seco-"

"I guess 34!" Emmy said happily.

"44!"

"33!"

"27!"

"30!"

"Mph!"

"69?" Luke suggested.

Don Paolo promptly walked up and pulled Luke's cap over his face.

Descole was the only one to notice the popped vein on Professor Layton's hat.


	3. Period 3, Mechas, and Bashing

**I don't know if this chapter will ever see the light of day, as my computer is being really freaky, but ok. Imma try.**

* * *

"Oh God..." Layton gasped.

"What is it Professor?" asked Clive.

"I have you guys... EVERY PERIOD..."

"Trololololo..." Clive sang.

"A true gentleman doesn't make a mockery of others' misfortune."

"I do."

And that was an end to the matter.

"Professor, I threw all the chairs away and replaced them with a sofa!" Flora beamed, dragging said sofa into the middle of the room.

"Yes Flora; now if you'll all sit down-" the Professor sighed.

"NO! The sofa is only for Luke and me!" Flora said aggressively, dragging Luke onto the sofa.

"Professor, Flora's gone completely bonkers!" Luke yelled.

"I'll just leave you to sort this out by yourselves," said the Professor, putting in earphones and listening to his theme.

"HEY! YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" Bill Hawks shouted, having somehow escaped the gag.

"I'LL BE BREAKING _YOUR FACE _IN A MINUTE!" Professor Layton shouted back.

"I'll help Professor!" Clive offered.

"And me!" demanded Don Paolo.

"Okay, Emmy, you take over the class while Clive and Paul and I build a giant mecha to destroy Bill Hawks," the Professor beamed.

"Yes, Professor!"

The three plotting men walked out to discuss their giant mecha.

Emmy looked devious, and the rest of the class shrank back. She ran up to Descole, snapped a photo exclaiming"#SELFIE!" at the top of her lungs, and posted it on FaceBook.

"T-TAKE THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW ALTAVA!" Descole yelled, throwing a random pipe at her and knocking her unconscious.

"Shit just got serious," remarked Luke.

"LANGUAGE!" the professor bellowed from outside.

"I CHOOSE FRENCH!" Luke bellowed back.

"Wait what?" asked Flora.

"TROLL'D!" Clive laughed at the Professor.

"Be quiet you."

Meanwhile Flora was taking Emmy to Mrs Butterfly.

_Just what goes ON in this school? _thought Mrs Butterfly.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU'RE NOT EVEN CANON!" Flora screeched.

Mrs Butterfly burst into tears and had to be bribed with candy and promises of her own "wonderful, cute fairy unicorn teddy" before she would treat Emmy.

"AHAHA RESISTANCE IS FUTILE HAWKS!" screamed Clive from atop the giant mecha, breaking down the roof and squashing Bill Hawks.

"Aw, my life sucks," said Bill Hawks, who was repeatedly stamped on by the mecha.


	4. Lunchtime, Moe Eyes, and Pocky

**Hello again! Man, this fic is so fun to write...**

* * *

Layton glanced at the clock. "It's lunchtime. If you'll all get out your food..."

Nobody moved.

"Professaaaaaah, I don't have anything to eat!" Luke whined.

"Me neither!" everyone else agreed.

"You'll have to go without, then."

_Quick! Moe eyes! _Luke communicated to the others via telepathy.

They all stared at the professor with the moe-est eyes they could manage.

Five minutes later the Professor had distributed his own lunch among the class.

"But professooooor I wanted the aaaappleeeee," Flora complained childishly.

"You can have the apple if you give me your sandwich," offered Bill Hawks.

"Sure!" Flora beamed.

"I want that sandwich Layton," Don Paolo muttered.

"You can have the sandwich if you give me your tea," offered Bill Hawks.

"Ok fine." They traded.

"Professor, I would like the tea," Clive said pointedly.

"Just take it," said Bill Hawks, shoving the tea in Clive's direction.

"HAHA! Now you have nothing to eat!" Clive laughed easily. "TROLL'D!"

"I'm hungry though Professor Layton!"

"Bitch please, nobody cares," Emmy yelled in Bill's face.

"HOW COME I GOT A FLIPPING POCKY STICK?!" Descole yelled.

"JUST EAT IT!" Layton roared.

"I CAN'T EAT WITH THIS GODDAMN MASK ON!"

"WELL TAKE IT OFF!"

"I'D RATHER STARVE!"

"Oh, lighten up," Flora smiled, snatching Descole's mask and throwing it in the bin.

"HOW COULD YOU!" Descole wailed, using Don Paolo's Flora mask as a substitute.

"Professor I have NOTHING to eat AT ALL!" Emmy screamed.

Luke took a chocolate bar out of his satchel.

"YOU HAD FOOD ALL ALONG?!" Layton bellowed.

Luke snapped a tiny square off the chocolate bar and gave it to Emmy.

"STINGY!" Emmy scowled, but she ate it anyway. "BLECH! IT'S PRALINE FLAVOURED! I HATE PRALINE!"

"At least you have something to eat," the professor sniffed. "I on the other hand, do not, as I gave all of _my _lunch to a group of ungrateful little_-"_

_"NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!"_ Don Paolo yelled, covering Layton's mouth before he could say something offensive.

"There's only two kids here, and it's not Luke and Flora!" Layton yelled back.

"

_"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!"_


	5. Period 5, the Alphabet, and Driving

**Hi, people. Eh heh heh... I will be so merciless today... you'll see... xD**

* * *

"I'm going to assign you stuff to do so you don't bother me while I listen to my theme," Layton said.

"What should I do professor?" asked Luke.

"Um... Learn to sing the alphabet song backwards."

"Okay then! D, E, C, B, A, J, F..." Luke grinned, as though expecting praise, and skipped off to learn more incorrect things.

"What about me?" Emmy yelled.

"LEARN TO DRIVE PROPERLY!"

"Eh heh heh..." She smiled sheepishly.

"But someone will have to teach her... AND THAT PERSON IS YOU!" The professor pointed at Descole.

"Huh?! Why me?!"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO, NOW GET YOUR ASSES ON THAT SCOOTER AND OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

"Clive, I want you to send a ransom note to Bill Hawks's wife and family, ok?"

"Sure thing Professor!" Clive said, dragging a reluctant Bill Hawks behind him.

"And Don Paolo... Hm... You can learn how to be sexy."

"WHAT THE HELL I'M ALREADY SEXIER THAN YOU!" Don Paolo screeched.

"Flora you can take polls."

"Poll time!" Flora yelled. "Let's ask everyone! WHO'S SEXIER?! THE PROFESSOR OR DON PAOLO!"

"Professor!"

"The Professor, of course!"

"As much as I hate to say it... Professor Layton."

"Me!"

"Professor Layton!"

"Don Paolo!" Bill smiled.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT FROM YOU DAMMIT!" growled Don Paolo.

"Me with sing and come you won't, S'C-B-A my know I now!" Luke sang.

"Well done ma boi." The professor ruffled his hair.

Meanwhile, outside...

"LEFT! GO LEFT YOU IDIOT! DO YOU _WANT _US BOTH TO DIE?!"

"What does the green light mean again, Descole? It means 'stop', right?"

"NO YOU'RE HOLDING PEOPLE UP! GET MOVING OR YOU'LL GET YOUR LICENSE TAKEN AWAY!"

"I DON'T EVEN _HAVE _A LICENSE!"

"SHUT UP AND DRIVE!"

In Bill Hawks's house, his wife was screaming.

"BILL'S BEEN KIDNAPPED! OMG! I TOTALLY HAVE TO TWEET ABOUT THIS!"

"The results of the poll are... THE PROFESSOR IS SEXIER!" Flora announced.

"Why thank you, kind ladies and gentleman," Layton said, bowing deeply. His hat fell off, revealing his awesome fro.

"IT'S FROSHEL!" Emmy screamed, hugging the professor. "I LOVE A MAN WITH A FRO!"

"Weren't you driving?"

"Well ya but I got fined for 'drunk driving'."

"You're drunk?"

"NO! I ALWAYS DRIVE THAT WAY!"

"So? What do you want?"

"Can I borrow some money?"


	6. School's Out, Road Trips, and Death

**Sorry for the wait!**

* * *

''Hey, professor?''

''Yes Luke?''

''It's really dreary outside.''

''This is the UK Luke.''

''Yes, but why don't we go somewhere sunny? Like San Grio?''

''What about my lessons Luke?''

''Screw your lessons and go on holiday with us!''

''OK! Let's get out of this place and lie on the beach!'' Layton yelled.

''In swimsuits!'' Clive added.

Silence.

''Goodbye Clive,'' Emmy wailed, eyes overflowing with tears as she pulled the trigger.

''YOU SHOT CLIVE!'' Layton's eyes popped out of his head.

''Don't worry Emmy, I understand, death was the only option for him,'' Descole said consolingly.

''Hey! You're not helping!''

Emmy wept.

Bill Hawks cheered.

''SHUT THE HELL UP BILL HAWKS!'' Luke roared.

''You taught him well Layton,'' Don Paolo nodded approvingly.

''Indeed I did.'' The Professor looked exceedingly proud.

''What are we going to do with Clive's body?'' asked Flora.

''Um... stuff it into the boot and go on holiday?''

''GASP! HOW COULD YOU, HERSHEY LAYTON?!''

''WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!''

''Start the engine!'' Luke cried.

''It's jammed with something!'' Don Paolo yelled.

''Well, go check it out!''

Don Paolo found something stuck in the exhaust pipe.

''IT'S A GODDAMN PUZZLE!''

''SOLVE IT THEN!''

''Okay, fine! I pick C!''

''Frankly, I'm ashamed.''

''I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR INPUT! B!''

''This one is quite formidable.''

''A?''

''Critical thinking is the key to success!''

''Seriously?''

''Yes.''

''The engine's working!''

The professor shoved Clive into the boot before taking his seat with Flora by his side.

''Why Flora?'' Luke mooched.

''Because she's the only one I can count on not to get us killed.''

That shut him up.

Meanwhile, Luke, Don Paolo, Emmy and Descole were squashed in the back.

''How come I have to sit with criminals and traitors?'' Luke whined.

''Shut up and deal with it.''

Meanwhile, Bill Hawks, who had been abandoned, was on a rather stuffy bus to the airport. He was going to get a plane to Space and never come back.

But back to the main crew.

''It's a little too quiet. I'll play some music,'' the Professor put a disk into the CD player.

Everyone felt ten times more awkward just sitting there in close proximity whilst 'We're going to Ibiza' played in the background.

An obnoxious driver bashed into the Laytonmobile, causing it to swerve wildly on the road. Everyone in the back fell on top of each other.

''Get off of my Luke, Emmy.'' Flora warned.

''I didn't mean to!''

''YOU'RE SQUISHING ME!'' Descole yelled.

Don Paolo burst into tears because he felt unloved.


	7. Karaoke, Beasly, and Tennis Rackets

**Previously...**

**Everyone went on a road trip, including Clive who was dead. They solved the puzzle in the engine. Flora got to sit in the front seat. Don Paolo squished Emmy, Luke and Descole like a great big POPULAR SANDWICH!**

**Popular Sandwiches FTW!**

* * *

BZZZZNYAHAHA...

''Do you hear that professor?'' Luke frowned.

''Yes... I wonder what it is?''

''OH MY GOD, LOOK!'' Emmy pointed out the window. Everyone looked and saw an old lady in a pink wig riding a giant bumblebee.

Only it wasn't any old old lady in a pink wig, and it wasn't any old giant bumblebee.

It was Mrs Butterfly riding a giant Beasley.

''What the hell woman?!'' Layton cried. ''That thing doesn't even have a steering wheel!''

''TAKE ONE MORE STEP AND I'LL REARRANGE YOUR KNEECAPS!'' cried Beasley.

''WE WEREN'T EVEN WALKING TOWARDS YOU!'' Flora pointed out.

''It's kind of lonely without Clive...'' said Layton in the midst of the chaos.

''LET'S SING OUR TROUBLES AWAY!'' Don Paolo yelled, so they pulled over at the side of the road and went into this giant karaoke booth that was there because I said it was. Yes, everyone. Even Mrs Butterfly and Beasley.

''You go first, Luke! Sing whatever you want!'' Layton handed him the microphone. Luke took it gingerly.

''_WHEN I GET OLDEEEERRRR! I WILL BE STRONGEEEER! THEY'LL CALL ME FREEEEEDOOOOOM! JUST LIKE A WAVING FLAG!'' _he screamed into the microphone.

Everyone covered their ears.

''Flora, my dear! You take over!''

''_Can't you seeeee ~ you belong with meeee~!__''_

''I can't decide who was worse...'' Descole complained.

''Then you go!''

''_IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOOOOOOOWN! DO DO DO DO! DO DO DO DO DO!''_

''Hypocrite...'' Flora sulked.

''I'M FED UP WITH BEING TREATED BADLY! LET'S FIGHT!'' Luke said suddenly, and began fighting with Layton.

''Hmm?! What is this?!''

''Emmy! Background music!''

''I'm on it, Flora! _Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time-_''

Layton threw Luke in the air and ninja kicked him. Luke bounced off the wall and fell on the floor. He looked up, grinning sheepishly, before biting the professor's ankle.

''OOOOW OW OW LUKE STOP DAMMIT!''

''_And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach_''

The professor flailed around wildly, trying to get his biting apprentice off of him.

''_Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd-_''

''Whee, this is fun!'' Luke mumbled.

''No, it is not! Help me, someone!''

''_And as you step back in the line, a mob jumps to their feet! So dance-_''

''DON'T SAY IT EMMY!'' yelled Clive.

''_Dance, he never had a ch-_ WAIT, CLIVE?!''

''Clive's a zombie!''

''No, I'm not! Mrs Butterfly healed me,'' Clive said with hearts in his eyes.

''But, Clive, she's at least 50!''

''I like older women.''

_''_Goodbye Cli- WHO THE HECK STOLE MY GUN?!'' Emmy bellowed.

''I did, because I knew this would happen,'' Descole beamed, looking pleased with himself as he stroked the gun lovingly.

''WHERE DID I GO?! I'M UNLOVED AGAIN!'' Don Paolo screamed, hitting people with a tennis racket.

Keep in mind that all of this happened inside one tiny karaoke booth.

* * *

**Will Emmy kill Clive again? Will the apprentice triumph over the professor? Will the gang ever get to San Grio? Sources suggest no!**

**Find out in the next chapter! :)**


	8. Sleepovers, Grovelling, and Photography

**We don't want you reviewers to feel unloved, do we? :)**

**Previously, we met up with Mrs Butterfly and Beasley. The gang caused chaos inside a karaoke booth, and Clive came back to life.**

* * *

''Professooooor I'm hungry,'' complained Flora.

''Professooooor I'm thirsty,'' complained Luke.

''Professooooor I'm tired,'' complained Descole.

''Professooooor I'm hyper,'' complained Don Paolo.

''Professooooor I'm hot,'' complained Clive.

''Professooooor I'm cold,'' complained Emmy.

''Professooooor I need to pee,'' complained Bill Hawks.

''SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!'' the Professor raged.

''Yes Professooooor.''

''Where did my gun go?'' Emmy enquired.

''Why do you want it?''

''Because I feel like shooting Clive right now.''

Clive gasped. ''Emmy! I'm ashamed of you!''

''I think we should find a hospital- I MEAN HOTEL - to check in at for the night,'' Layton suggested, growing tired of the youngsters' antics. ''After all, it is 10 PM.''

''Sí tú lo dices, profesor,'' Emmy replied.

''What?''

''Yo dije, sí tú lo dices, profesor.''

The professor looked exceedingly confused.

''What did she say, Flora?''

''Non lo so, professore.''

He sighed and turned to Luke. ''Give me an answer in English. Please Luke.''

''Shitakunai...''

''I AM FED UP OF THIS!'' he raged.

''WE'RE SO SORRY!'' everyone cried, tears of regret flowing down their faces.

Layton suddenly went back to normal and smiled politely. ''Now, let's find a suitable hotel...''

_One hour later, everyone was in a huge room in a hotel called 'The Ancient Fart'._

''YAY! PYJAMA PARTY!'' declared Don Paolo.

''Oh, goodie,'' Descole said sarcastically.

''HOW ABOUT I POSE NAKED?!'' Clive yelled excitedly.

''HOW ABOUT NO?'' Emmy kicked him in the face.

''Would everyone stop yelling? I'm _trying _to read here...'' the Professor facepalmed.

''OMG OMG~~~'' Flora squealed. ''EVERYONE LOOKS SO CUTE IN THEIR PYJAMAS! ESPECIALLY LUKIE-KUN!''

''PROFESSAAAAAH FLORA IS CREEPING ME OUT!''

''EVERYONE GET INTO BED!''

Everyone did as the professor said.

They were all in one ginormous bed.

''WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE!''

''SHUT UP!''

''Professor, I just farted.''

Don Paolo was promptly kicked onto the floor. Bill Hawks was on the floor, too, grovelling at everyone's feet where he belonged.

The night was far from comfortable.

Emmy was the first one up in the morning. She surveyed the scene before her, which consisted of Bill Hawks and Don Paolo hugging on the floor, Flora snoring in Luke's ear, Clive crying in his sleep because of a nightmare, the professor had his afro fully exposed to the elements, and Descole's mask knocked off.

She grinned from ear to ear, and snapped pictures of each and every one of them.


	9. Chaos, Sharks, and Other Stuff

**Previously...**

**...Everybody checked in at some hotel for the night, Emmy threatened to kill Clive (again), and GENERAL NAUGHTINESS ENSUED! YAY!**

* * *

''Rise and shine, everyone!'' Emmy yelled, whooshing open the curtains in an over-dramatic, Descole-like fashion.

There was a lot of mumbled complaints as people burrowed further underneath their covers.

''I _SAID, _RISE AND SHINE!'' with this, she pulled the covers off, leaving her companions exposed to the harsh sunlight.

''AAAAAAAGHHHH! IT BURNS!'' Layton screamed.

''LET'S GET GOING! WE CAN ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH TODAY!'' Luke suddenly jumped out of bed and waltzed out the door.

''LUKE, YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PYJAMAS!''

''OH WELL!''

Upon hearing this, everyone else became energized too, picked up their stuff, and crammed into the car again. This time, it was Bill Hawks in the boot.

I don't think you need three guesses as to why.

''Hey!'' Don Paolo grabbed Layton and dragged him backwards.

''What is it Paul?'' the professor said irritably.

''WE HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE CHAPTER FOUR!''

''I feel hungry because you said that!'' Flora accused Don Paolo.

''JUST GET IN THE CAR! I'LL GET YOU ALL FOOD ONCE WE'RE ON THE ROAD AGAIN!''

''Yaaaaaay~!''

Ten minutes later, they were driving along the edge of a cliff.

''Where are we now?'' asked Clive, his nightcap covering his face.

''We're just entering... let's see...'' Layton glanced at a signpost. ''The town of Cnibble.''

Luke burst out laughing. ''What kind of a name is Cnibble?''

He wouldn't stop laughing, so Descole punched him in the face. He was knocked unconscious and fell onto the floor.

''OH MY GOD, LUKE'S DEAD!'' Emmy screamed.

''WHAT?!'' the Professor yelled, losing control of the Laytonmobile in his shock so that it almost went over the edge.

Everyone held their breath, including Luke who was unconscious, and Bill Hawks who didn't have a clue what was going on because there were no windows in the boot.

They let out a sigh of relief as the car halted just in time.

Then the satnav kicked in. ''Go north,'' it said in a monotone.

''Oh, okay!'' Layton said cheerfully, driving them north, off of the cliff.

They began falling.

''AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!''

''I BLAME YOU FOR THIS CLIVE!''

''WHY ME?!''

''BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED WHERE WE WERE!''

_Splash._

Everyone, rather shocked from the impact, began to panic as the Laytonmobile sank.

The wind proceeded to blow the car upside down underwater.

''PROFESSAH! ALL THE BLOOD'S GOING TO MY HEAD!''

''QUICK! CLIMB ON TOP OF THE CAR!''

They unlocked the doors and did just that.

They also considered leaving Bill Hawks there to suffocate and/or drown, but it'd be more satisfying to make him suffer more before killing him.

So they took him with them.

''WE NEED TO GET ACROSS TO THAT ISLAND!'' Don Paolo pointed to some island in the distance.

''U-Um... Maybe I could help with that...''

Everyone turned around to see that Descole had summoned a variety of remote-controlled sharks.

''We can get across using these... but I'm not doing this because I like you or anything.'' He blushed.

''Yeah, yeah.'' Everyone else chorused as they rode the sharks to the island.

The second they set foot on the island, a net dropped from the sky and scooped them up.

* * *

**Aw yeah cliffhanger XD**


	10. Cnibble, Spits, and Distractions

**Couldn't resist the temptation to update :3**

**Also, may have spoilers, read this fic with extreme caution! **

* * *

''What's going on?!'' Flora yelled.

''Flora, that is the most sensible thing anyone's said all day, let me give you an upside down hug to the best of my abilities,'' Layton said proudly.

''WELCOME TO CNIBBLE,'' said this random fat caveman, cutting open the net. They all fell onto the sand, stunned. Obviously, Bill Hawks was at the bottom of the pile. Squished by everyone else.

''This is a strange welcome,'' Luke dragged himself out from under Don Paolo.

''WE EAT YOU NOW,'' the fat caveman informed them.

''Why am I not surprised?''

Five minutes later, everybody was tied to spits over a fire.

''I hate you Clive,'' Emmy muttered angrily as she was rotated over the blaze.

''Love you too.''

Meanwhile, Layton was trying to work out an escape route.

''This reminds me of a puzzle.''

!

''Oh, Layton, not now...''

''We have just enough time to free ourselves from the ropes. The rest can run ahead while Descole distracts them...''

''Why me, dammit?!'' Descole yelled.

''Would you like me to reveal your identity?''

''And how would I distract them?'' the villain resigned himself.

''Why, it's obvious,'' Layton wished his hands were free so he could epically point, ''with FANSERVICE, of course!''

''...No.''

''Syca-''

''ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!''

Everybody fleed while Descole distracted the cannibals, dressed in a sexy neko outfit.

''RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!'' Luke screamed, dragging the others behind him.

''DON'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE!''

They scaled the cliff again and, once out of reach of the people of Cnibble, sat down for a picnic.

Because being roasted on a spit makes people hungry.

''Would you like to hear a puzzle, Luke?'' asked the professor serenely.

''You bet professor!'' Luke cried, eyes shining in anticipation.

''A group of people go on an adventure. The Laytonmobile sinks. How many people come home?''

''...Um... everyone?''

''Nope, the answer is 0.''

Everyone looked scandalized, traumatised and unloved.

Meanwhile, everyone except the Professor and Flora was in a corner whispering.

''What's going on?'' asked Flora.

''SSSSHHHH! You're not part of the club!'' Luke whispered.

''What club?''

''The People-Who-Hurt-The-Professor's-Feelings club.''

''How did you hurt the professor's feelings?''

''By getting on the Titanic.''

''Oh, I see.''

A woman and a man appeared in the corner.

''IT'S CLAIRE AND RANDALL!'' Don Paolo exclaimed.

''What? We hurt his feelings too. Don't exclude us.''

''This club is hereby disbanded.'' The Professor said, spinning around and all of a sudden he was wearing a wig and an unspeakably pink cardi.

''Okay...?


	11. Revival, Rebirth, and Revelations

**Previously...**

**The author was a lazy butt and didn't update for ages.**

* * *

_WHOOOOSH._

That was the sound of the waves on the rocks.

_TWEET._

That was the sound of birds chirping.

_AGHOMGDONTKILLME!111!1!_

That was the sound of Clive begging for mercy as Emmy threatened his life yet again. Happy times.

''WHERE THE HELL DID THIS STORY GO?!'' Layton demanded from the cliff.

''Careful, you'll fall in.'' Luke attempted to drag him to safety.

''Well, it's back now,'' Flora said lightly, although her hands and axe were covered in blood.

''DID YOU JUST KILL THE AUTHOR?!''

''...Maybe.''

''THEN WHO'S WRITING THE STORY?!''

There were collective gasps, and then silence for an hour until-

''I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE, SOMEBODY'S WATCHING MEEE!'' Bill Hawks burst out. The others promptly dropped him off the cliff, the little slimeball.

Layton was still wearing his unspeakably pink cardi for some reason, and enjoying it perhaps more than he should have.

''There is something wrong here... something isn't right...'' Don Paolo mused. All of a sudden Phoenix Wright popped up.

''Did I hear my name?''

''GO BACK TO YOUR OWN FANDOM, YOU ASS!'' Descole slapped him with a pipe.

''EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING!'' Mrs Butterfly yelled. In a furious rage Luke pulled at her face as if it was taffy.

The face came off and numerous people screamed.

''HAHA! YOUR MRS BUTTERFLY DOES NOT EXIST! IT'S ME, GRANNY RIDDLETON!'' Granny Riddleton declared.

''WHAAAAAAA-''


End file.
